четверг, 15 ноября 2018
Hello, my regular readers. I continue with experiments. From now on I add German translations to my posts.
Deutsch
Deutsch
среда, 07 ноября 2018
- Bought the tickets to concert on 6-th dec. Haven't been distracted from work for a long time. Yeap.
- Exhausting day. Showed a demo. Was at the height.
- Made a habit of making TODOs in emacs. Helps not to forget.
Good night.
- Exhausting day. Showed a demo. Was at the height.
- Made a habit of making TODOs in emacs. Helps not to forget.
Good night.
четверг, 01 ноября 2018
Rules:
I
No girls, no sex.
No alcohol, no tobacco, no drugs.
More thoughts, less - words.
More books, less - movies.
Stay calm. No worries.
II
Respect people.
Support people.
Be polite.
III
No negative thinking.
No positive either.
IV
Respect yourself. Strive for perfection.
Do whatever you like if it doesn't conflict with the rules above.
V
Life is great.
Regulations:
The first round of the Game begins on the 1st of Nov. 2018. and lasts for a year.
At the end of each month, the goals should be set for the next month.
Victory condition: do not lose.
Lose condition: break the Rules.
No concessions.
Rules may be tightened or supplemented, but never — mitigated.
One life, one try.
Goals:
The main goal.
Few - smaller.
Conditions for achieving the main goal should be spelled out in detail.
At the end of the month, the analysis should be provided.
Let's play!
I
No girls, no sex.
No alcohol, no tobacco, no drugs.
More thoughts, less - words.
More books, less - movies.
Stay calm. No worries.
II
Respect people.
Support people.
Be polite.
III
No negative thinking.
No positive either.
IV
Respect yourself. Strive for perfection.
Do whatever you like if it doesn't conflict with the rules above.
V
Life is great.
Regulations:
The first round of the Game begins on the 1st of Nov. 2018. and lasts for a year.
At the end of each month, the goals should be set for the next month.
Victory condition: do not lose.
Lose condition: break the Rules.
No concessions.
Rules may be tightened or supplemented, but never — mitigated.
One life, one try.
Goals:
The main goal.
Few - smaller.
Conditions for achieving the main goal should be spelled out in detail.
At the end of the month, the analysis should be provided.
Let's play!
вторник, 30 октября 2018
The further I talk to her the more I understand she considers me an embodiment of the nullity.
Few days ago she said my masculinity was suppressed by my mother so that's the reason why I've got a doubt whether to call my colleague to the movies. That's a double-edged stick. If I agree, I'd allow her to continue the suppression she's talking about. It's in her nature. If I disagree, I wouldn't face the problem that obviously is present 'cause she is fucking right.
Can't stop thinking. Smoke one by one. Salvation's plan looms in my head. I know what to do. I did like that before and that helped.
I'm just gonna sleep on that plan to give it time to mature. And tomorrow it will prove itself.
Few days ago she said my masculinity was suppressed by my mother so that's the reason why I've got a doubt whether to call my colleague to the movies. That's a double-edged stick. If I agree, I'd allow her to continue the suppression she's talking about. It's in her nature. If I disagree, I wouldn't face the problem that obviously is present 'cause she is fucking right.
Can't stop thinking. Smoke one by one. Salvation's plan looms in my head. I know what to do. I did like that before and that helped.
I'm just gonna sleep on that plan to give it time to mature. And tomorrow it will prove itself.
понедельник, 29 октября 2018
Is it just enough to say repeatedly - everything's gonna be okay?
Dunno.
Do not try drugs, folks.
This is the no-end-game.
Feel very-very-tired. Need some sleep.
See you when I see you.
Dunno.
Do not try drugs, folks.
This is the no-end-game.
Feel very-very-tired. Need some sleep.
See you when I see you.
вторник, 23 октября 2018
I'm confident. I'm home, it's my territory. The technical side of the demo would be okay, that's for sure.
I'm not sure about my spoken english. So let's check, whether keeping diary in english is useless or not.
I'm not sure about my spoken english. So let's check, whether keeping diary in english is useless or not.
понедельник, 22 октября 2018
NOTE: You can mix alcohol with antibiotics if you want. Use google, Luke.
I'm drunk. And I fell in love with our common she-friend.
I continue talking about girls. Sorry. I'm young and all that shit.
Help.
I continue talking about girls. Sorry. I'm young and all that shit.
Help.
Mystery.
Phone rang and woke me up. It was her. Again.
Let me skip the part where we walk and then she goes back to S-'s apartment. Blah-blah-blah. Would you like to come tonight with S.? Movies, tea, talking? Nope - once again. Okay. I offered twice in two days, you denied. Scram.
But S. accepted readily. I wanted someone to talk heart to heart and S. did the trick. We made a dinner and talked. I haven't been heart to heart like that for a long time. We are friends and there is a fine line we should not cross. Just because I do not know what is there - beyond such a good friendship. We have agreed to watch «Il Bisbetico Domato» the next weekend or whenever.
Enough about girls.
Phone rang and woke me up. It was her. Again.
Let me skip the part where we walk and then she goes back to S-'s apartment. Blah-blah-blah. Would you like to come tonight with S.? Movies, tea, talking? Nope - once again. Okay. I offered twice in two days, you denied. Scram.
But S. accepted readily. I wanted someone to talk heart to heart and S. did the trick. We made a dinner and talked. I haven't been heart to heart like that for a long time. We are friends and there is a fine line we should not cross. Just because I do not know what is there - beyond such a good friendship. We have agreed to watch «Il Bisbetico Domato» the next weekend or whenever.
Enough about girls.
воскресенье, 21 октября 2018
First I saw her 5 years ago or something. I was a laboratory assistant at the department of anatomy. It was a party time job, I worked four hours a day after the classes. Usually, freshmen have additional anatomy in the evening. They come to university clinic, take the bones or preserved nerves and study them. I was a sophomore, she was a freshgirl. So we met there - in the smelly dog-hole at the clinic's basement, where we - my elder collegue and I - were messing about with a snake's skeleton. She came and started to argue with my colleague about her relationship with my classmate. I heard that and took a look at her. She seemed to me a stupid little bitch. I realized that my colleague - who was not allowed by status - was arguing with her about her romantic relationships with someone just for fun.
She came over a day later when I was alone. She asked me about the skeleton. And she was flirting. During the conversation it turned out that she was an experienced reader and I liked it. She started to come to me over and over again and we talked 'bout literature. We were exchanging books. It turned out that she's not silly at all, as it might seem at the first glance. I didn't attach much significance to our conversations and I missed the moment when I fell in love.
I confessed. It was like this: I put you before the fact, do whatever you want with it. And she did nothing. I did nothing. We just continued chatting over VK and calling up. She was independent, I was proud. In fact, we both were.
Since I worked, I had no time to devote it to study, so I took an academic leave. Then we didn't communicate closely for a half of year. I recovered to her class. Study had started, and she didn't appear at the university for a month. I texted her and got an answer: hospital. Got poisoned.
We started our communication over again. She said she has a boyfriend. She said he is kind. Wow.
As I learned later, her boyfriend - fat bag of snot and grease - was a designer, worked in IT. Mature, as she said, got money. And she is comfortable with it.
I sat at the end of classroom, saw her back with hair scattered on her medical gown, which barely kept on the sharp shoulders. I was indignant.
I wanted to break off all the communication with her. She lay on the bed with him and texted - "I think about you". I replied: "Why then your are not with me"? She was saying: "Can't be with you as well as can't be without you".
"You're poor artist. You've got no ambitions. You are looser."
She didn't say like that, but all she was saying sounded like that shit.
She moved to another city where her boyfriend rented an apartment. Some time passed, we didn't communicate. One day, she called and said: "We broke up. I won't go to my mother immediately. Can I stay with you for a couple of days? It won't take long, just want to see you and be with you till it settles down in my head."
"Sure".
Three days we were together. We played the ass. We watched movies. Talked. Fantasized about the future. Our future.
Then she said: "I'm going back. He is waiting for me".
I could not believe my ears. I thought it was a joke. Bad joke. I asked her whether she meant to go to her mother after. No, she didn't. She planned all this. She planned to sit out a couple of days at my place in order to avoid the mother's questions and give HIM some time to miss her. She expected HIM to forgive her. And that was it. I took her to the station, helped with the suitcases. I saw her through the carriage window as she called someone. She didn't look at me as the train started its movement. I felt betrayed. And I cried seeing train leaving the station.
So. Today I had a momentary weakness.
Fuck you.
She came over a day later when I was alone. She asked me about the skeleton. And she was flirting. During the conversation it turned out that she was an experienced reader and I liked it. She started to come to me over and over again and we talked 'bout literature. We were exchanging books. It turned out that she's not silly at all, as it might seem at the first glance. I didn't attach much significance to our conversations and I missed the moment when I fell in love.
I confessed. It was like this: I put you before the fact, do whatever you want with it. And she did nothing. I did nothing. We just continued chatting over VK and calling up. She was independent, I was proud. In fact, we both were.
Since I worked, I had no time to devote it to study, so I took an academic leave. Then we didn't communicate closely for a half of year. I recovered to her class. Study had started, and she didn't appear at the university for a month. I texted her and got an answer: hospital. Got poisoned.
We started our communication over again. She said she has a boyfriend. She said he is kind. Wow.
As I learned later, her boyfriend - fat bag of snot and grease - was a designer, worked in IT. Mature, as she said, got money. And she is comfortable with it.
I sat at the end of classroom, saw her back with hair scattered on her medical gown, which barely kept on the sharp shoulders. I was indignant.
I wanted to break off all the communication with her. She lay on the bed with him and texted - "I think about you". I replied: "Why then your are not with me"? She was saying: "Can't be with you as well as can't be without you".
"You're poor artist. You've got no ambitions. You are looser."
She didn't say like that, but all she was saying sounded like that shit.
She moved to another city where her boyfriend rented an apartment. Some time passed, we didn't communicate. One day, she called and said: "We broke up. I won't go to my mother immediately. Can I stay with you for a couple of days? It won't take long, just want to see you and be with you till it settles down in my head."
"Sure".
Three days we were together. We played the ass. We watched movies. Talked. Fantasized about the future. Our future.
Then she said: "I'm going back. He is waiting for me".
I could not believe my ears. I thought it was a joke. Bad joke. I asked her whether she meant to go to her mother after. No, she didn't. She planned all this. She planned to sit out a couple of days at my place in order to avoid the mother's questions and give HIM some time to miss her. She expected HIM to forgive her. And that was it. I took her to the station, helped with the suitcases. I saw her through the carriage window as she called someone. She didn't look at me as the train started its movement. I felt betrayed. And I cried seeing train leaving the station.
So. Today I had a momentary weakness.
Fuck you.
суббота, 20 октября 2018
She was here. She just lay on my bed and we... talked. I felt some mix of awkwardness and comfort at the same time.
Today I planned to write down here my old love story and it was an unexpected luck to see her when I least expected to. I expected T. to come, but he came along with her and his friend - O. I treated them to tea and they left. And literally in half of hour she called me to walk and talk. Face to face.
We sat in the basement of the workshop that accidentally appeared in front of us: my jacket required repair. A sign on the workshop read: bags, padlocks, women's shoes, but - despite of that - repairer took my jacket with no word and ordered to wait.
She had a meeting scheduled: I heard her making an appointment by phone. And we talked, and talked, and talked. Nobody watched the time. Finally I said "U gotta go. An appointment." And she calmly got dressed (I mean - jacket) and left me.
I am slightly excited. And in this state, I can not calmly write my love story. To be continued...
Today I planned to write down here my old love story and it was an unexpected luck to see her when I least expected to. I expected T. to come, but he came along with her and his friend - O. I treated them to tea and they left. And literally in half of hour she called me to walk and talk. Face to face.
We sat in the basement of the workshop that accidentally appeared in front of us: my jacket required repair. A sign on the workshop read: bags, padlocks, women's shoes, but - despite of that - repairer took my jacket with no word and ordered to wait.
She had a meeting scheduled: I heard her making an appointment by phone. And we talked, and talked, and talked. Nobody watched the time. Finally I said "U gotta go. An appointment." And she calmly got dressed (I mean - jacket) and left me.
I am slightly excited. And in this state, I can not calmly write my love story. To be continued...
четверг, 18 октября 2018
18.10.2018 в 22:20
Пишет Bats:танецURL записи
Наверное, все уже видели, но я хочу, чтобы этот танец был в моём дневнике:
люблю Boston Dynamics!
среда, 17 октября 2018
Ordinary day, mediocre healthcare, tiresome job. However, such interesting adjectives prettily describe all this purgatory.
Gonna wash the dishes, feed my cats and make some pasta with the chop-meat. Boring staff, you know.
I would like to write more, but I'm tired.
Gonna wash the dishes, feed my cats and make some pasta with the chop-meat. Boring staff, you know.
I would like to write more, but I'm tired.
Now people say there is no mission more impossible than the first one was. In 50 years, when the remake would be released, the old fans would say: «No mission is possible without scientologist».
Just watched the latest - Fallout. «Same old Ethan» (c)
Just watched the latest - Fallout. «Same old Ethan» (c)
Folks!
While I'm struggling high body's temperature I'm watching high-tempo dancing. These legs are fully amazing:
So I'm about to follow the following things:
1. Learn swing dancing. Good for health.
2. Watch good old American movies. Good for death (they smoke a lot there).
While I'm struggling high body's temperature I'm watching high-tempo dancing. These legs are fully amazing:
So I'm about to follow the following things:
1. Learn swing dancing. Good for health.
2. Watch good old American movies. Good for death (they smoke a lot there).
вторник, 16 октября 2018
Через несколько месяцев у меня будет оценка эффективности работы. Помимо прочего, на каждой такой оценке рассматривают твои достигнутые цели и предлагают поставить новые, которых ты должен достичь до следующей такой оценки. На предыдущей оценке одним из пунктов я вписал «Улучшить английский».
Поэтому вопрос к Вам, постоянные читатели: не против ли Вы, если я начну вести дневник на английском языке?
Поэтому вопрос к Вам, постоянные читатели: не против ли Вы, если я начну вести дневник на английском языке?
Привет.
В больнице когда узнали, что я не закреплен ещё ни за одним врачом, меня на руках носили. И занесли в кабинет, где сидели две женщины. Одна из них заполняла на компьютере электронную декларацию на меня, вторая же - врач - заводила на меня карту. Иногда они задавали мне вопросы одновременно. Иногда говорили одновременно. При этом они как будто не понимали, что в этот же момент говорит кто-то ещё и я вынужден улавливать суть речи обеих. Я несколько раз просил их говорить по очереди, но это не возымело должного эффекта.
Когда декларацию заполнили, врач как-то очень быстро меня прослушала. За один цикл вдоха-выдоха она перемещала головку стетофонендоскопа 2-3 раза, после чего заявила: «Легкие чисты». Тут же она принялась выписывать лечение, на что я запротестовал. Ведь меня даже не опросили - сколько дней я болею, какие симптомы и показатели, каким самолечением занимался. И я рассказал. Но, видимо, рассказывай я или нет, эффект был бы тот же. Она отреагировала лишь на азитромицин и спросила, сколько дней я его пил. Потом пояснила, что курс-де должен быть продлен ещё на пять дней в случае, если это пневмония, плюс другой антибиотик. Мне выписали направление на флюорограмму.
Рентген кабинет в больнице, куда меня направили, уже был закрыт, и я смог бы сделать снимок лишь завтра утром. Но я сильно беспокоился по поводу возможной пневмонии, поэтому нашел поблизости частную клинику и сделал снимок там. После того, как я сделал снимок и оделся, меня пригласили к рентгенологу. Она в этот момент обсуждала с коллегой снимок кисти руки другого пациента. Потом на экране на секунду мелькнул мой снимок, после чего пропал, а ренгенолог уже распечатывала форму с ответом. Пока я жевал вопрос «а вы снимок-то смотрели?», мне выдали ответ с подписью и велели поставить печать в кассу. Я не совсем был уверен, что мой снимок действительно посмотрели и выдали действительно ответ, хотя на нем и было написано «Патологических изменений не обнаружено», поэтому я переспросил. Три раза. На третий раз рентгенолог повернулась ко мне, четко, ясно и с расстановкой сказала: «Ответ у вас в руках. Печать поставите на кассе.»
Мне уже лучше. Завтра, вероятно, с утра будет хуже, пока я не откашляю скопившуюся в бронхах за ночь гадость.
Придется ещё какое-то время поработать из дому.
В больнице когда узнали, что я не закреплен ещё ни за одним врачом, меня на руках носили. И занесли в кабинет, где сидели две женщины. Одна из них заполняла на компьютере электронную декларацию на меня, вторая же - врач - заводила на меня карту. Иногда они задавали мне вопросы одновременно. Иногда говорили одновременно. При этом они как будто не понимали, что в этот же момент говорит кто-то ещё и я вынужден улавливать суть речи обеих. Я несколько раз просил их говорить по очереди, но это не возымело должного эффекта.
Когда декларацию заполнили, врач как-то очень быстро меня прослушала. За один цикл вдоха-выдоха она перемещала головку стетофонендоскопа 2-3 раза, после чего заявила: «Легкие чисты». Тут же она принялась выписывать лечение, на что я запротестовал. Ведь меня даже не опросили - сколько дней я болею, какие симптомы и показатели, каким самолечением занимался. И я рассказал. Но, видимо, рассказывай я или нет, эффект был бы тот же. Она отреагировала лишь на азитромицин и спросила, сколько дней я его пил. Потом пояснила, что курс-де должен быть продлен ещё на пять дней в случае, если это пневмония, плюс другой антибиотик. Мне выписали направление на флюорограмму.
Рентген кабинет в больнице, куда меня направили, уже был закрыт, и я смог бы сделать снимок лишь завтра утром. Но я сильно беспокоился по поводу возможной пневмонии, поэтому нашел поблизости частную клинику и сделал снимок там. После того, как я сделал снимок и оделся, меня пригласили к рентгенологу. Она в этот момент обсуждала с коллегой снимок кисти руки другого пациента. Потом на экране на секунду мелькнул мой снимок, после чего пропал, а ренгенолог уже распечатывала форму с ответом. Пока я жевал вопрос «а вы снимок-то смотрели?», мне выдали ответ с подписью и велели поставить печать в кассу. Я не совсем был уверен, что мой снимок действительно посмотрели и выдали действительно ответ, хотя на нем и было написано «Патологических изменений не обнаружено», поэтому я переспросил. Три раза. На третий раз рентгенолог повернулась ко мне, четко, ясно и с расстановкой сказала: «Ответ у вас в руках. Печать поставите на кассе.»
Мне уже лучше. Завтра, вероятно, с утра будет хуже, пока я не откашляю скопившуюся в бронхах за ночь гадость.
Придется ещё какое-то время поработать из дому.